Dear God,
the fire burnt so much.
It felt as if tiny red serpents were licking me, not realizing that their little flaming tongues were like thousands of burning daggers piercing my skin.
I sat there as the flames kissed my cheeks, as the hair burnt from my face. I withstood the heat and agony because I had no other option.
Because if I had drawn my head from the fire, my punishment from Themwould be even worse.

Dear God, 
i hurt so much right now.
Surely my face is swollen, I can feel the fleshy layers when I reach up to touch where my eyebrows had once been. It hurts to touch my raw skin, so I don’t do it as often anymore.
I can only see through vertical windows, my eyes must be burnt as well. But that is okay, I suppose. If I could see my reflection clearly I’d probably be more worried. For now it just burns.

Dear God, 
sometimes it hurts so much that I cry. And the crying makes it worse.

 The salt mixes with my flesh, and I scream because I cried too much. Because crying doesn’t release the pain.
I want to scratch out my eyes, scratch at the burning flesh until it peels away in strips covered in my red life-blood. And after it is all peeled away all that will be left is a black covering, the same way that burnt charcoaled wood is left behind.

Dear God, 
i know what you have planned for me is bliss, but why must I suffer so much to reach the end? 
Can’t some days be easier than others? Perhaps for one day could I see the sun and not have to worry about Thempunishing me again?
Sometimes I wish to see the light at the end of the tunnel. To end this pain, to go beyond this misfortune. Because nothing else seems to be working.
But no, forgive me

Dear God, 
please forgive me. 
I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean that at all.
I can live, I can survive anything you feel necessary to put me through, to oblige me the pleasure of experiencing in this life. 
I will follow your Master Plan until the end, however insignificant my role is.

Like They say, 
Your Will be done, 
Forever and Ever. 
Amen.




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