Deep down,
I can see why.
See why everything
Has gone to hell.
Yet I refuse
To believe why
Why everything
Has gone to hell.
As I see you
Standing there
Torn up
Shred to ribbons
I swallow back
The bile.
Swallow it back
Because I can't be seen
As weak.
Because I will be seen
As a traitor.
You are standing
In that hell
Rips my heart up.
I don't understand why.
For the first time
In my life
Nothing makes sense.
Not even you.

Deep down,
I'm not sure I'm
On the right track.
I'm not sure I'm
Right about anything.
Not anymore.
I can hear your voice
It isn't sweet anymore.
Nothing is.
Everything's black
Like me
Like what I've done.
The bile
Rises again--
Burns my throat.
It blocks out everything
Your voice
Your screams
Your blood.
Yet it doesn't
Block out
What I want it to
Block out
His smile
His orders
HIs triumph.
I hit my knees.
Everything stops.

Deep down,
I can still see why
Everything has
Gone to hell.
Yet I don't
I can't
Be apart of it
You watch me
Watch me fall
Watch my tears
Watch the bile
Fly from my mouth.
You grit your teeth
Grab the dirt
Attempt to shout
As a shadow
Falls over me.
Your eyes widen
And I know
What's to come.
You scream again
As my blood rains
Over you.
Your face
Is the last thing I see

Copyright © 2013 "Behaviorism", Jillian S. All rights reserved.

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