"Hue hue hue hue," Evil Mister Flame-ingo laughed. His "hue"s reached the pale hearing saucers of his latest victim, who dangled upside-down above a boiling cauldron. This victim also happened to be Evil Mister Flame-ingo's arch nemesis.

"You're supposed to say 'you'll never get away with this, oh fantastic arch nemesis of mine', to which I am to reply with 'on the contrary, Noodlebear-Man, I have already won'! You aren't playing right at all!" EMF embellished this last statement with a sad, over-the-top frown, then went on laughing.

Noodlebear-Man tried to shake himself out of his restraints, but to no avail. His bonds were made of a spaghetti-rotini alloy, known as Pastanite. Noodlebear-Man HATED Pastanite. In fact, Pastanite was Noodlebear-Man's one weakness. Out of all the things in the world, Pastanite was Noodlebear-Man's least favorite, without a doubt. If you even REMINDED NBM about Pastanite, he would start flipping out. The guy really could not stand Pastanite. But EMF LOVED Pastanite. He couldn't get enough of Pastanite. Pastanite kept his nemesis at bay, so he always made sure he attacked his foe close to Pastanite.

The author majorly overused the "kryptonite plus pasta night" pun right there, and he wishes to apologize. It did not happen on purpose at first, he swears. The puns are stopping, the author says. EMF pleads for just one more. Fine, the author guesses. Pastanite is a cruel and terrible thing that only villains love. Other people are literally physically harmed by the raw energy contained in Pastanite. There, the author says. He hopes you're all happy. He grumbles to himself.

Anyways, EMF cackled his malevolent flamingiggle. The "hue"s once again fired off in all directions as Noodlebear-Man was ever-so-slowly lowered towards the cauldron. The pot's contents bubbled and boiled, and the smell of rich tomato sauce and oregano wafted into our hero's nostrils. Evil Mister Flame-ingo planned to cook him and gobble him right up! NBM began to panic. Of all the ways to die he had often thought about in dark drunken stupors, this had to be the absolute stupidest. He knew he simply could NOT go out this way. Managing to face his nemesis, Noodlebear-Man sucked a load of snot into his mouth and hocked the biggest loogie he could muster. The viscous slime propelled itself through the air and into EMF's one un-monocled eye.

The bird issued an unimaginable caw-ing screech. He fell backwards onto the trap's control panel, depressing a button that read "CAULDRON TOPPLE AND RESTRAINT RELEASE TOGGLE". As the button was pressed by EMF's ruffled feathers, the cauldron beneath Noodlebear-Man toppled sideways, spelling its Italian contents all over the floor. It was a complete and utter mess. The Pastanite surrounding Noodlebear-Man unraveled itself too, and NBM fell to the floor of the villainous lair. He picked himself off of the ground and dusted off his rippling muscles. He then uttered a primal yell, and ran directly at Evil Mister Flame-ingo. The villain screamed again.

As the two collided, their forces- one of pure, unadulterated good, the other of vile, despicable evil- intertwined and ripped a hole directly through the fabric of space-time. The two foes were pulled into the rift, which closed itself promptly afterward.

The lab was in utter shambles. Nobody visited it for many, many years. Over time, vines and brush began to overgrow its walls and machines, and it became desolate. However, eventually, someone DID visit it. A man with pale hearing saucers covered in a businessman-like hat walked into the building with hands in his pockets. The man wiped tears away from under his thick glasses.

"This is where it all began," he said thoughtfully. "An entire intergalactic journey, and it started off as a petty conflict in an abandoned lab." He sighed then, and turned to walk out. "I miss you, Flame-ingo. You who, in the end, proved to be my one and only true ally."



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